Friday, May 10

Friday. . .So What?

When things are as up in the air as they are right now, Fridays have no special meaning whatsoever. Hopefully things will look up this next week. Job news, either positive or negative; assistance news, again positive or negative. If they are both negative, I'm not sure where this is going to go.

Thursday, May 9

Another Day

Too many people that I've grown to respect in the Blogging community are bidding adieu or taking vacations from the practice. First there was Ernie then Dooce.com, writer and photographer of superb talent pulled the plug.

This does get a little addictive. And, in the hands of the wrong type personality, could lead to personal ruin or frustration. Anything taken too seriously can have serious drawbacks. I love to cook. People have often asked why I don't do it professionally. My reason is simple: I enjoy doing it as a hobby, not as an vocation. I don't want to spoil the fun I have with cooking by having to do it under the pressure of paying rent, etc.

As my favorite author Adair Lara advised a graduation class, "find where you want to live. The work will find you."

I need to remember that.

Wednesday, May 8

Who Knew?

Life could be so strange. I could easily get down right now, but I'm not letting myself fall into that trap. Finding things out, moving forward, making plans. I've decided one of the biggest things to get me out of a depression is to make some sort of plan. Work towards something other than what is in front of me at the moment. Sounds like avoidance, but it's really preservation. I need something to keep me going.

::-::-::-::-::-::-::-]

And who would have thought Reno would have a great mass transit system? It's clean, covers the entire city, efficient, 98 percent on time. Can't beat it. Now, you can beat some of the people who ride the bus, but that's another story.

Tuesday, May 7

Just When You Think. . .

things are settling down. They flare up again. Lessons have been learned from the past, however, so I don't see this latest travail into possible self-hatred and destruction being as bad as the last. Considering that was my first experience with the homeless life, I think I did pretty well to escape. One the of the biggest lessons learned: don't befriend anyone. It will lead to nothing worthwhile.

Reno, fortunately, has a pretty good support network. (Those casinos and the taxes they bring in do have some benefit after all).

Who would have thought?

Monday, May 6

Like Grabbing Mercury

Ever notice how some things just don't get done as easily as they should? Life, when you look at it in its most basic form is pretty simple stuff. You wake in the morning, sleep at night, grow or deteriorate (at least physically) during the whole process. Pretty simple.

Somehow, many of us, myself included, have managed to make the whole thing much more complicated than it has to be. When I saw this post from my friend Ernie at Little Yellow Different I knew things had gotten out of hand. Not to forget that my own life is in a huge mess right now, but when a stalwart like Ernie decides to take a powder, all I have to say is "hmmmmm. . . ."

One of my favorite films is "The Big Chill". It came out nearly 20 years ago, but its message about friendships, connections, etc., still rings true. I have countless favorite lines from the film, but one of the ones I love most is when Meg Tilly's character Chloe is asked if a particular person was happy. "I don't know," she replied, "I haven't met that many happy people." Another "hmmmmm.. . .."

Grabbing what you want out of life is indeed like grabbing mercury. Just when you think you have it cornered, it evades your grasp quickly. Instead of trying to grab what I think I want, I think I'm going to start taking what I get and seeing what I can do with it. Not a retreat, just a dose of reality. You can't count on people, or places, or things to make you happy. You really can't count of any of them for anything. Just go with what you know is, what you can grab with certainty, what will work at the time.

The rest will figure its way out.